There is literally not a day that goes by where BR doesn’t say something that completely stops me in my tracks and makes me think, WTF.
So I’ve decided to start recording some of the crazy stuff BR says on a daily basis, as it happens. Starting with today. And just so you know, every time he says something nuts, I will be updating this post. And then I will be drinking.
January 17, 2013
BR: I’m still deciding what to do with the jeans I ordered that are too big. Should I return them?
Me: Of course you should. What else would you do?
BR: Maybe I’ll wash them in really hot water and throw them in the dryer and shrink them.
Me: That won’t work. They’ll only shrink in the length, not around the waist.
BR: Blondie, you obviously don’t know anything about laundry. Of course they’ll shrink in the waist.
Me: Oh really? Why don’t you google it. I bet you’re wrong.
BR: I just googled it… in my mind. And they’ll shrink in the waist.
BR: That’s right Blondie. I mind-googled it. I moogled it. And I’m totally right… as usual.
September 15, 2012
BR: Blondie, I have fixed the lights.
Me: Wow, really? That’s amazing! The lighting system hasn’t been working for 3 months!
BR: I know. I’m a genius.
Me: You are totally a genius.
BR: That’s right Blondie. And I’m not just a genius, I’m a super-mega genius. In fact, I’m probably the smartest person on the planet.
BR: Put that in your freakin blog.
September 8, 2012
BR: I’m hungry. What’s for breakfast. WHAT IS FOR BREAKFAST!
Me: I’ll get you some breakfast.
BR: I want pizza.
Me: Well we don’t have any pizza, so I’ll get you something else.
BR: Blondie! Just go downstairs and don’t come up until you have some delicious pizza! I’m so hungry! Hungry for pizza!
Me: WE DON’T HAVE ANY PIZZA. I’ll go downstairs and get you something… stop shining that flashlight in my eyes! What’s wrong with you? Lunatic! I will go downstairs and bring you up some breakfast. Ok?
BR: Ok. I’ll have pizza.